Words from the Cross Part I: Why Have You Forsaken Me?

I’m at the rock-climbing gym with my friend, Xuan. He’s been teaching me everything from technique to climbing lingo.

“This is great,” I say. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“I enjoy unusual hobbies,” he says. “Climbing, spelunking, stuff like that.”

My chest locks up.

“Have you ever been spelunking before?” he asks.

He doesn’t know. He hasn’t heard that I once spent over twenty hours trapped in a cave.

“Once or twice,” I say.

It’s warm in the gym, but I shiver.

For a moment, I’m back in the cave. My body is pressed between cold, slick stone walls. My face is caked with mud. I struggle to unpin myself. My muscles burn, but I go nowhere. I’m utterly, completely alone.

It’s been seven years. But there are still things I don’t understand.

Why did God allow me to be trapped?

Why did He wait almost a day to rescue me?

Where was He in those hours of darkness?

Those questions bring to mind some of the last words of Christ.

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?

I’m immediately humbled. 

Because I was never alone in that cave. And, in the end, God rescued me.

But when Christ uttered that cry, He was completely alone. His Father had turned His face away. He did not rescue His Son.

All of that was necessary for my salvation. Christ had to bear the full punishment for my sin—complete separation from God.

So why can’t I trust that the One who gave all would never abandon me? Why do I carry around these doubts years after my rescue?

“You should try to climb this route again,” Xuan says.

I dust my hands with chalk and approach the wall.

As I grip the rough handholds, I thank God for remaining with me while I was pinned against those smooth walls years ago. And I thank Jesus for dying on the cross two millennia ago so that I will never be separated from God.