The Battle Within

It’s Saturday. I’m sitting in my recliner, reading a book. It’s raining outside. I’m glad I can stay inside this morning and keep dry.

I set my book down and look at my window. Water droplets weave their way down the glass, following invisible paths.

Beyond the window, the weather is changing. The rain is falling slower and slower. Soon, the raindrops transition to snowflakes. They drift toward the ground—a swamp of slush and runoff. The snowflakes disappear on contact.

This is March. Winter and spring are locked in battle. The sludgy mess outside is no-mans-land.

The scene resonates with me.

Sometimes, my spiritual life resembles March. Sometimes, I struggle against God. Instead of fully committing my life to Him, I hold pieces back for myself. Instead of allowing Him to show me new ways to grow, I fight for what is comfortable and familiar.

And instead of experiencing the goodness of spring, I get stuck in the March muck.

God wants good things for me. But I can’t move toward those good things if I fight against Him.

I need to learn to relinquish control.

So, as I watch the seasons battle each other outside, I pray that the battle inside me would cease.

Lord, You are God, and I am only a man. Help me to submit my whole life to You. Let me hold nothing back. And lead me into the newness of spring.

I open my eyes. The seasons continue to wage war. But I begin to feel at peace.